I am a tree: fruitless and free, no symmetry.

Yesterday was the marathon and the consequent crowds of unreasonable people. Two years ago when I lived on the north side of Comm Ave I went to a party on the south side of Beacon and got trapped. Left the party because I was tired and drunk and didn't want to talk anymore to people I didn't know, and there were literally no intersections anymore. So I bought a six-pack and went to a Brookline park and laid down in the grass until I thought they would let up on the sawhorse barriers and I could get through. Anyway, this year I was determined to stay as far away from that as possible.

So in honor of B.Mattarochia, I took some long walks. I planned what I term a Lady Day, an infrequent period when I do things I can technically afford but shouldn't spend money on. I walked to a massage appointment ("you weren't kidding" he said afterward, having told him I had a lot of neck and lower back problems from a desk job and irrational anxiety about everything ever). I walked to the Watertown mall, shopped, walked back home. I tried so hard to find things with a pattern or any color whatsoever, but witchy nature takes over and I ended up with 5 bags of black clothes. I had a flask of vodka in my purse because it's easier than beer, though beer would have been more in keeping with the tradition. I put Guided by Voices in my ear. Started with Alien Lanes, because why wouldn't you ever start with Alien Lanes -- the club is open. Finished with Mag Earwhig. It's my third favorite (there is never a justification for discounting Bee Thousand as a first or second choice but I am fortunate to own that on vinyl [THANKS CAPTAIN!] and felt the need to take advantage of other formats). It was sun-filled and not anywhere near too warm. It was a spring day. It was a tribute.

I got home and drank a bottle of champagne, because...Lady Day. Not the Andre we spent so many nights with, I feel fancier now despite my better nature. I thought about how incredibly relaxed I felt and the marked lack of anxiety. I remembered later that I have a job I didn't ask for at a place that is so unrealistically terrible it fills up too much of my heart and brain space even when I'm not there, and realized at the same time that I didn't think about it all day, an unusual occurrence. Thank you KINGS and GBV for the reprieve.   

I write this to the tune of --015(Great Ghosts).

I am a tree, counting my rings will do no good. I won't live long, but I would be with you if I could. When you take flight, remember me to one who lives there. Since you have flown....there's something special in the air.

It is 9:01 pm

This is the seance.